Imperfectly Trendy: Eating Disorders in the Media

Warning of what lies ahead: spoilers for To the Bone and Feed. More importantly *Trigger warnings* for eating disorders and anorexia.

Netflix’s To the Bone, directed by Marti Noxon and starring Lily Collins, has probably popped up all over your social media streams lately. It’s the story of Eli’s (Collins) struggle with body image and anorexia. An artist and college dropout, she’s gotten herself kicked of a few rehab programs. Her family is determined to get her healthy, which leads Eli to a non-traditional doctor and group home filled with other youth with eating disorders. At first we see Eli thriving, but as we find out a secret only Eli (and her family) know the full story about, we being to fear for her life.

If you’ve heard of To the Bone, you’ve probably heard of Feed, written by and starring Troian Bellisario. Olivia (Bellisario) is in line to be valedictorian at her high school when a car accident takes the life of her twin brother, Matt. It’s not until Olivia starts seeing Matt in her dreams, then in real live that you understand the level of grief she is feeling. Through the ups and downs of the next several months, she has Matt back except he get progressively more aggressive. The psychological thriller has you wondering what’s going on until you realize the twin she’s been seeing actually represents her anorexia, not her brother.

Both films have gotten praise and criticism. From romanticizing and over triggering, to not going far enough to break stereotypes surrounding the portrayal of anorexia in the media— it seems there is no perfect way to tell these difficult stories.

But before we get to that, let’s throw it back with a little #FlashBackFriday.

Every sitcom I’ve ever watched has tried and failed to have a discussion surrounding eating disorders. Full House, Lizzie McGuire, Degrassi (a moment of silence to remember the time before Drake was Drake), Pretty Little Liars, and so many more have given it a go. It looks something like this: in a single episode, a young, white, female character develops, struggles through, and recovers from an eating disorder with zero relapses and little explanation of underlying mental health issues.

To the Bone and Feed don’t break the white female story line. But they both do what hasn’t been done before and give a close-up look at the issue of eating disorders. Unfortunately, neither fully captures the experience of someone struggling between what their mind is telling them and how their body reacts.

As you watch Eli in To the Bone do so many crunches that she bruises her spine, or Olivia in Feed run almost 5 miles seemingly multiple times a day, you might think, “what’s wrong with being fit?” or “wow, she’s dedicated!”  That’s not really what you want from an audience who already doesn’t get the difference between healthy body image and distorted and self-destructive body image.

So is there anything good to be taken from the imperfection of these TV shows and movies?

Follow me on this.

While To the Bone is a story to recovery and Feed is a story of (almost?) recovery, they do open a deeper discussion than poor DJ Tanner when she stopped eating and over-exercised because she was extremely nervous for a winter swimming party. You see, we never discussed eating disorders again with DJ Tanner, Lizzie McGuire, Emma Nelson, or Hannah Marin. As their stories went on, we probably forgot they even struggled in the first place.

To the Bone and Feed both show you the severity of eating disorders. They show how having an eating disorder affects your whole life, your family’s lives, and your friend’s lives.  They tell you that there isn’t that one magic reason an eating disorder starts and there are layers to recovery, including relapse. They tell you that help will include a treatment team, not solely your friends and family. They tell you the harsh voice in your head is wrong. They tell you, while the journey may take a long time, there is hope.

Because eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of any mental illness, calling attention to how they are portrayed in the media is important. In fact, portraying them in the media at all—however imperfectly—is a step in the right direction. It’s about making sure that stories like To the Bone and Feed are out in the world sparking all the discussions they have been recently.

Is there room to grow? Absolutely. And getting the discussion going is just the start.

My advice for the TV show and movie makers of the world (because I’m sure they will ask one day):

Diversify, diversify, diversify!! These issues leave no zip code, no racial identify, no economic class untouchedAdvertise  how to get help at the beginning and end of each programInclude  trigger warnings

As long as the goal remains to more perfectly portray real-life people with real-life challenges, creating empathy, while letting them know help is available, we can settle for progress not perfection.

We have completely talked about #MentalHealth in the media (*cough* 13 Reason’s Why *cough*) before, check it out.

National Resources

Crisis Call Center 800-273-8255 or text ANSWER to 839863 Twenty-four hours a day, seven days a weekcrisiscallcenter.org/crisis-services

National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Eating Disorders 630-577-1330 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. EST, Monday to Fridayanad.org National Eating Disorders Association 800-931-2237 9 a.m. to 5 p.m. EST, Monday to Friday nationaleatingdisorders.org

Thursday’s Child National Youth Advocacy Hotline 800-USA-KIDS (800-872-5437) Twenty-four hours a day, seven days a weekthursdayschild.org

Youth Development Spotlight: Hannah Claros

Hannah Claros is down to earth, sweet and caring. That’s why, when you meet her, you may be surprised to learn just how much of the world she’s explored and how high her aspirations soar.

Her interest in personal development and in helping others makes her a vital asset to Family Service and the youth we serve. As a Youth Development Specialist, she enjoys playing Bop-it with the Teen Outreach Program and Positive Action kids.

More than playing fun games, her role as mentor and facilitator is to provide practical behavioral and social skills that are culturally relevant for today’s youth.

She has a Bachelor of Arts in International Relations and Spanish from Roanoke College. Hannah spent time in the Peace Corps, and has also traveled in Europe and South America.

She’s bilingual and believes in sharing her travel and world experiences to encourage youth to pursue their dreams and find their own relevance in their community.

When Hannah isn’t studying hard for her Master’s in Teaching through Liberty University and working with youth in the Roanoke Valley, she enjoys Star Trek, spicy food, and riding horses.

Youth Development Spotlight: Hannah Hopkins

Hannah Hopkins wasn’t always the awesome Youth Development Specialist (and blooming social worker) she is now.

In fact, not that long ago, she was about as far away from a social worker as one could imagine.

With a Bachelors of Engineering in Biomedical Engineering, Hannah spent seven years as a product development engineer in the medical device industry before changing course.  She had always wanted to help people, but felt a bit too far removed as an engineer.

She started working with Family Service in 2016 as an intern and eventually as a part-time Youth Development Specialist. She has worked in Community Counseling at the West End Center, and Presbyterian Community Center. She has also supported Teen Outreach Program groups at Forest Park Academy, Rivermont and Noel C. Taylor.

Now working towards her Masters of Science in Social Work, she can continue her goals to be of service to others and to make a positive impact in the community.

She will start an internship with Family Service Child Therapist Jennifer Nolley as her supervisor in the fall. As a social work intern, Hannah will work through the Play Therapy Institute to treat traumatized children.

Hannah loves a really good belly laugh and describes herself as loyal, kind, and joyful.

“My goal is to facilitate light for those experiencing darkness.”

The Truth about PTSD

WHAT DO LADY GAGA, DARRELL HAMMOND, AND AUDIE MURPHY HAVE IN COMMON?

Lady Gaga is an American singer-songwriter who has received numerous awards and nominations for her contributions to the music industry.

Darrell Hammond is recognized for his impersonations of Bill Clinton, Al Gore, Sean Connery, John Travolta, and many more on Saturday Night Live.

Audie L. Murphy is known as America’s most decorated combat soldier of World War II and a famous movie star.

So, what do they all have in common? They all were diagnosed with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

In 2016, Lady Gaga spoke publicly about her battle with PTSD—a result of being raped at 19 years old. For 7 years, Lady Gaga never spoke about her rape, not willing to admit that anything had even happened. However, in December 2016, she wrote and posted an open letter on the Born This Way Foundation website about her battle with mental illness and PTSD stating, “…I am finally well enough to tell you. There is a lot of shame attached to mental illness, but it’s important that you know that there is hope and a chance for recovery.”

WHAT IS PTSD?

According to the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is a “…mental health problem that some people develop after experiencing or witnessing a life-threatening event [or trauma]”. The term PTSD is normally associated with military veterans that have returned form war; however, this is not always the case.

Traumatic events can include combat, witnessing death or injury, physical assault, sexual assault, an accident, a natural disaster, car accident, acts of terrorism, sudden loss of a loved one, domestic violence, or child sexual abuse.

Meaning, PTSD can happen to anyone.

Here are some quick facts about PTSD in the United States:

7% to 8% of the population will experience PTSD at some point in their livesAbout 8 million adults have PTSD during a given year.About 10 of every 100 women develop PTSD sometime in their lives compared with about 4 of every 100 men.

SIGNS AND SYMPTOMS

Not everyone who experiences a traumatic event will develop PTSD. There are many factors that can increase the chance that a person will have PTSD, and those factors are normally not under that person’s control.

PTSD symptoms may start within one month of the traumatic event, but sometimes the symptoms might not appear until years later. They are generally grouped into four types (with some examples):

Reliving the Event:

Memories of the traumatic event can come back at any time. A person may feel the same fear or horror when the event took place, feel they are going through it again, or are triggered by something (sights, sounds, smells, or thoughts) that reminds them of the event.

Negative Changes in Thinking and Mood:

A person may have a hard time expressing their feelings or have swift changes in mood. Examples include, thinking the world is dangerous and no one can be trusted, feeling detached from family and friends, or blaming themselves for what happened.

Feeling on Edge:

A person may always be alert and looking for danger. This can result in a hard time sleeping, being easily scared, trouble concentrating, or self-destructive behavior.

Avoiding Situations That Remind a Person of the Event:

A person may try to avoid situations or places that remind them of the event and/or avoid seeking help because they would have to talk or think about it.

Not all people who suffer from PTSD have the same symptoms. For example, Lady Gaga’s symptoms also include somatization—meaning her psychological symptoms are so overwhelming, to the point that she is unable to express her feelings and they become physical symptoms. An example would include, throwing up when feeling anxious or having a headache due to stress.

HEALING INVISIBLE WOUNDS

One of the main treatments for PTSD is psychotherapy or talk-therapy. There are two main talk-therapy methods used for people diagnosed with PTSD, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR).

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) has been found to be the most effective treatment of PTSD, in both the short term and long term. It focuses on identifying, understanding, and changing thinking behavior patterns. There are two main components of CBT that have been found to reduce PTSD symptoms.

Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT) helps a person learn skills to understand and change the way they think about the trauma (such as coping with feelings of anger, guilt, and fear).

Prolonged Exposure (PE) therapy helps people face and control their fears by exposing them to the trauma in a safe environment. Exposure can include mental imagery, talking, writing, or going to the places or visiting the people that remind them of the trauma. This way, the person will be less sensitive over time.

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) was originally designed to treat PTSD. In EMDR, people will focus on sounds or hand movements while talking about the trauma. Like with CBT, EMDR helps people process trauma, allowing them to heal. If the healing process is blocked or imbalanced by the traumatic event, the emotional wound will be unable to heal and cause suffering. However by removing the block (distracting the person through hand movements and/or sounds), healing can resume.

Another type of therapy is Group Therapy. It provides a safe environment for a person to discuss their experience with others. By realizing that there are people out there that have dealt with a similar experience, that person will hopefully feel less isolated and withdrawn.

Psychotherapy, or talk-therapy, has been shown to be effective in the treatment of PTSD. However, everyone is different. Just because one type of treatment works for one person does not mean it will work for another. As such, a person needs to find a therapist that they feel comfortable with, meets their needs, and has experience with helping patients battling PTSD.

Congress named June 27 PTSD Awareness Day. The purpose of it is to encourage everyone to raise public awareness of PTSD and effective treatments. By reading this article you have already made a difference! By having a greater understanding and knowledge of PTSD, you can help others recognize symptoms and, hopefully, support them in seeking help.

If you are in crisis now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8225).

Starkey comes to Family Service with long history of helping others

Jamie Starkey is a force to be reckoned with.  As the newly hired Project Director for the Health and Wellness Interpreters of Roanoke Valley with Family Service of Roanoke Valley, she is continuing the career she’s built based on serving people who need it most.

With her career originally starting in law enforcement, Jamie quickly came to realize that she wanted a career with the ability to have a long-term impact facilitating positive change for people. From working with youth at risk of incarceration to domestic violence advocacy, Jamie says it was a natural progression to work with victims facing cultural and language challenges.

“I have had a life-long passion for the underdog, for the being the voice of the voiceless. Giving those with limited English proficiency a path to access supportive services fits well with my professional goal to always recognize the inherent value of each individual and provide supportive service that respect the person in their environment,” she said.

Health and Wellness Interpreters is a grant funded program connecting individuals with limited English proficiency with interpretation services facilitating their ability to engage with helping resources such as Family Service of Roanoke Valley, TAP, SARA, and The Salvation Army. Although a new program, Jamie already sees successes. These successes are counted in every victim who summons the courage to tell their story and in every interpreter who helps to articulate the narrative.

Self-described as outgoing, an advocate, and sassy, Jamie truly believes that her job is all about meeting people where they are, joining their journey, promoting hope and facilitating positive change. Her favorite quote demonstrates these ideals.

“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.” – Anne Frank

Youth Development Spotlight: Deseree Stanfield

Deseree Stanfield has always loved helping others and started “officially” doing so at just 12 years old by tutoring refugees in English at the West End Center. If that doesn’t tell you about her character, I’m not sure what will! (Except the rest of this blog).

Deseree has a Bachelor’s in Sociology and is a Qualified Mental Health Professional specializing in Children. As aYouth Development Specialist and Day Treatment Provider, Deseree has now made a career out of childhood goals.

"Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life,"–that’s an important quote for Deseree. Although most people use this expression in finding their next job opportunity, Deseree uses it to describe what she does now.

“While there are certainly challenging days, I never question whether or not I’m doing what I should be doing, where I should be doing it.”

With the Teen Outreach Program®, she still gets back to her roots with the West End Center, and other locations, helping kids and teens learn important life skills and service learning.

Seeing the kids she helps learn and grow in confidence is Deseree’s favorite aspect of the job. A close second, and is equally rewarding, is when a kid knows they are in a safe place to feel how they need to feel.  She describes a time when one of the younger kids were having a rough day. He was fidgety and had a hard time concentrating on his homework. After a few minutes, he stood up, walked over to Deseree, and leaned on her for a little bit. After some light talking, Deseree asked if he was ready to get back to his seat and he was. After that little moment, he was able to quickly finish his work.

“After he finished, I told him how awesome he’d done and he smiled. I knew then that the spell of his rough day was over.”

Find out more about what Deseree does at the West End Center by reading our last blog post

Family Service and West End Center maintain summertime service for youth

Family Service of Roanoke Valley is proud to be a community partner with The West End Center for Youth.  A youth centered community resource proudly serving Roanoke for nearly 40 years. Established in 1979 to provide a safe haven for the youth of the west end and mountain-view communities, the West End Center offers after school programs, educational services, family support and summer programs.

West End Center offers children and teens enrichment programs to encourage positive social skills, anti-bullying, literacy enrichment and after school support. The West End Center for Youth has served over 200 plus children and teens per year.

Within our partnership, Youth Development Coordinator Deseree Stanfield  QMHP-C, facilitates day treatment and community counseling. Deseree herself had attended West End from grade school through graduation, returning to now work within the community that shaped her early years.

Watch this video featuring Des at West End Center and the impact Community Counseling and the Teen Outreach Program has on young participants.

Deseree is a dedicated social service professional who benefited from the services West End Center and Family Service offer, and is now giving back by facilitating programs and offering her support to youth in need.

As the school year comes to a close, the summer programs begin.

Activities include Positive Action, PeaceBuilders and social skills, educational components, fitness and nutrition as well as various service learning projects. Our many community partners join together to provide enrichment and continuity to the youth of our community to ensure a fun and safe summer.

We at Family Services of Roanoke Valley along with The West End Center aspire to continue the support of our youth through high school and hope to achieve a relationship that lasts beyond graduation. Deseree Stanfield is a perfect example of how services provided by West End Center and Family Service have enriched the life of a valued community leader.

Our roots go deep here at Family Service, and it shows with the dedication and commitment our staff and community partners like West End Center provide for the youth of Roanoke.

As the school year ends and the summer approaches, we will continue to provide enrichment and activities that have proven to not only raise test scores and school attendance but also provide a space to grow as future community leaders.

Tough Talks: Parents, Children, and “13 Reasons Why”

Thirteen Reasons Why was written in 2007 by Jay Asher. By 2011, it was #1 on the New York Times best-seller list and, unbeknownst to most parents, it is currently on many high school reading lists. For those who haven’t heard, Thirteen Reasons Why, and its Netflix adaption “13 Reasons Why”, follows the story of Hannah Baker who committed suicide at the age of 17. She leaves behind a series of cassette tapes explaining the 13 reasons why she made that final decision.

Like it or not, many teens and pre-teens have already watched or are currently watching the series.

Who could blame them?

With such an unfiltered, unapologetic take on topics such as violence and bullying, substance abuse, sexual assault, and self-harm, it is easy to become invested in the story—especially if you relate to the lives and struggles of the characters. According toVariety, it is the most tweeted about series of 2017.

Due to its popularity among middle and high school students, many mental health organizations believe that it is important to have discussions about the series’ effect on children and how parents can talk to their children about it.

On Tuesday, May 23, 2017, SARA (Sexual Assault Response and Awareness), Prevention and Wellness Services at Blue Ridge Behavioral Healthcare, and Family Service of the Roanoke Valley facilitated a discussion for parents, community members, and  middle and high school aged-students regarding how to have open conversations about the Netflix series. The purpose of the panel was not to break down specific scenes of the show, but rather to use it as a jumping off point for conversations about the serious issues depicted in the show.

Before opening the floor for discussion, the panelists shared data about suicide rates in the United States, Virginia, the Roanoke Valley, and surrounding areas, shared suicide warning signs, and discussed resources available to our community.

The audience in the parent’s panel varied—ranging from clinical psychologists, teachers, school counselors, young professionals, to parents with their teens. The largest portion of the event was dedicated to listening to thoughts about the show and how parents can facilitate conversations about “13 Reasons Why”.

 Here are some tips and ideas for parents that I found extremely useful.

Not Everyone Needs to Watch It.Especially those with a predisposition to depression and/or anxiety, currently struggling or who have struggled in the past with suicidal thoughts, and those who have experienced sexual assault.

Watch the Show Together. By now, many middle and high school students have already watched the series and are anxiously waiting for the second season. However, parents should ask their children if they have ever heard of or seen the series. If they have not, parents should offer to watch the show together (if the child is interested and if the parents feel it is acceptable) and share their thoughts on the show; especially in regards to suicide and bullying.

Watch “13 Reasons Why: Beyond the Reasons”. “Beyond the Reasons” is the companion piece to”13 Reasons Why”. It is a 30-minute conversation where the cast, producers, and mental health professionals discuss scenes dealing with difficult issues. It can be watched either before or after each episode of the series.  

Be Open.Children should feel like they are able to speak to their parents about difficult topics without judgment, whenever and wherever. Having a safe, judgment-free space will allow children to express themselves honestly without fear. Additionally, parents should validate their child’s feelings. By accepting and trying to understand their feelings, parents will create the groundwork for the ability to have powerful and deeper conversations with their children in the future.

Be Present.It is important for parents to be both physically and emotionally present. It is true that parents have the toughest job in the world and there is a lot stress that comes with day-to-day life. However, if a parent isn’t in their child’s life, physically or emotionally, they are not in touch with what is truly happening. If a parent is not there, they are no longer someone that their child can come to, they are a stranger to the child as much as the child is a stranger to them.

Opinion from Peers Are Important. The opinions of peers matter as much to children, if not more, than the opinion of their parents. At this age, children yearn for the acceptance of their peers. So, while a parent might be telling their child that they are beautiful and smart, on social media the child might be seeing the opposite—and that is what the child internalizes and believes. So, it is important that parents teach their children how to be kind and supportive to others so they are a model for their social group and bullying becomes a thing of the past.

Be Aware That Social Media Plays a Bigger Part Today Than When the Book Was Written.

And, in turn, it’s harder for children today as they feel more victimized by attacks from their peers. Parents need to be aware of the applications downloaded on their children’s cell phone and/or tablets as well as their children’s social media passwords. Knowing what they are using and knowing what they have access to is huge as parents will not only learn what their children are saying, but also what people are saying about them.

It Takes a Village. The panel continuously reiterated the idea that it takes a community to raise a child. While one child might have a wonderful support system at home, for another that might not be a realistic expectation. But, while that child might not have a parent to talk to, there is probably another adult in their life that they confide in—whether it be another family member, teacher, guidance counselor, coach, church member, etc. If there isn’t one, it is important for the community band together and do what is best for the child.

Practice Self-Care.It is difficult to care for others when you are not taking care of yourself.

No Fear. All of the panelists encouraged parents to have difficult conversations with their children, and be open to their response. These are the realities of life and they need to be addressed. It is important to note that asking a child if they have thoughts of suicide does not increase the risk nor does it plant the idea. If parents are apprehensive due to a lack of knowledge, there is a plethora of resources, either online or within the community, that they can use and study.

While some may feel “13 Reasons Why” is not 100% accurate, it is opening the doors of meaningful conversation regarding important issues that teens and pre-teens face on a daily basis.

RESOURCES:

If you are in crisis, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or contact the Crisis Text Line by texting TALK to 741-741.

Youth Development Spotlight: Ana Zuniga

Ana Zuniga, Family Service Youth Development Specialist, graduated with a Bachelor in Social Work this month! We are so proud of her accomplishments and are excited to have had her on the Youth Development team. 

A lover of ice breaker games, Ana has a passion for working with kids and youth and developing connections with them in the community. She also enjoys the service projects that the Teen Outreach Program participates in.

She recalls once how there was a project at the VA Hospital and seeing the kids really “wake up” was inspiring. She describes it as them just being “awesome” and making the connection as to why volunteering is important. You could see on their faces how it all came together in that moment.

Ana served as an intern in Youth Development in 2016-17, and gained excellent experience working directly with youth and participating in a wide variety of programs.

As a native Spanish speaker, she has also provided critical support in serving Spanish-speaking clients at Family Service.

She believes that the youth development program is the perfect fit for her. Making a difference in the lives of young ones is what fuels her fire.

“Being able to impact the lives of youth and children through mentoring and modeling behaviors makes my job so rewarding and fulfilling. That’s why I love it so much.”

Just weeks before her graduation, as she was completing her internship at Family Service, Ana achieved another extremely rewarding and exciting milestone–she completed the process to become a citizen of the United States. She celebrated with her family and her Family Service family.

Congratulations to this impressive young lady!!