When Mental Health Days Don’t Help

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I’m taking today and tomorrow to focus on my mental health. Hopefully I’ll be back next week refreshed and back to 100%. @madalynrose

The Tweet capturing attention of mental health professionals and mental health warriors this summer was an email sent from a boss to her team about taking a couple of days off to focus on mental health.  It was the reply of her CEO that went viral:

Hey Madalyn, I just wanted to personally thank you for sending emails like this. Every time you do, I use it as a reminder of the importance of using sick days for mental health — I can’t believe this is not standard practice at all organizations. You are an example to us all, and help cut through the stigma so we can all bring our whole selves to work.

–CEO Ben Congleton

The resulting internet storm led to blog posts, articles and videos about the willingness (or unwillingness) of employers to recognize mental illness as a valid reason to stay home from work and recuperate —rest assured, I am not going there.

Although I wasn’t officially diagnosed at the time, my fight with depression–and subsequently anxiety–began in middle school. It continues to this day.

I thought when I entered college it would get better. I would be so busy having new experiences, joining clubs, and studying hard that I wouldn’t have time to be depressed.

Turns out, problems travel with you.

During my first two years of college, I felt swallowed up by everything. This feeling started a seemingly endless cycle of helplessness, hopelessness, and overall lack of energy. I didn’t realize it was caused by my depression and anxiety; so, I just thought I needed to take a day or two off and I would feel better.

I started taking “mental health days” almost every week—staying in bed all day, binge eating and watching, and avoiding all social interaction—which didn’t actually help my mental health.

Taking time off continued until my first semester of my junior year and by that time my “mental health days” not only affected my grades, but also my relationships with classmates and with my family.

Looking back, I wish I was more aware of my mental state. When I didn’t feel any change after taking my first (or second) day off, that was a sign of a bigger problem .

I’m not beating myself up about the past. I now know there are plenty of ways a mental health day can be good for you, and the days sitting isolated and alone were not good for me.

If you take a mental health day for the wrong reasons or do not think about what your mind and body really need, the time away might unintentionally make your mental health worse.

Making the Most of a Mental Health Day

Skipping class, staying in bed all day, binge eating and watching, or any other indulgent or isolating behaviors are not productive to your health. In most cases, it will make you feel worse.

By staying in bed all day, I became stuck in my depressed state; and, binge watching shows only provided a temporary fix.

Never once did I think ahead of time how I would spend my mental health day to make the most of it.

A good first step is to MAKE A PLAN!

1) Ask yourself: Is taking the day off what I really need?

For someone like me, taking a mental health day in college was not a good idea due to my depression and anxiety. If you suffer from anxiety skipping a day of school or work may not be helpful as responsibilities pile up and can add to a sense of being overwhelmed or out of control. If there is an immediate issue (problems sleeping, overly stressed, burnout, lack of investment and engagement, irritable, etc.), then a literal day off from work or school could be beneficial.

2) Think about how you will spend your time:

While sleeping in feels nice, consider getting up and moving, even when it is difficult.

The most beneficial way to spend a mental health day will be different for every person, but some positive ways to spend the day are:

Spend time with loved ones

Go to a yoga class

Finish a task on your personal to-do list

Take a spa day

Make an appointment you’ve been putting off

Go to an amusement park

Read a book

Take a hike, or go for a jog or bike ride

Sit quietly

3) Decide what you will do next:

Mental health days aren’t cure-alls. Continuing to care for your mental health after your mental health day is important. That could include having a gratitude journal, taking care of your body, surrounding yourself with loving and positive people, joining a club or group, and getting help from a counselor when you need it.

A therapist can help you make sense of why you feel the way you do, and support you to develop coping skills that don’t involve days on the couch or spoons in the ice cream carton.

(Shameless plug-in: If you so choose, get some inspiration and new ideas for self-care from our Instagram where we do #SelfLoveSaturday every other week!)

The goal of these activities is to bring you some kind of joy or feeling of accomplishment, they are not chores or duties you feel have to get done. Having a mental health day gives you time to re-charge your batteries, refocus, and be prepared for the future.

Everyone faces challenges they may not be able to solve on their own. To learn more about how Family Service of Roanoke Valley can help you achieve heightened self-awareness, renewed strength, and balance and restored hope, please contact us at 540-563-5316 or visit our How We Help page.

Guest post: Living Black with Anxiety

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Black people are not a monolith, but we are expected to be. When we do not overcome hard times or seek help, the outcome can be detrimental. Drugs and alcohol, while not healthy ways to manage are sometimes the only accessible way to cope resulting in backlash, judgement, exclusion, disappointment, and so forth from the public.

However, according to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services Office of Minority Health, African Americans are 10% more likely to report having serious psychological distress than non-Hispanic Whites, yet many do not seek mental health services. For the black community, there is a lot of stigma and shame associated with mental illness (especially for black men).

Growing up in a Black community, black women, in particular, are expected to be caretakers; nurturing, selfless, and supportive—living up to the role of being a “strong black woman”. One would think that as women, often stereotyped as soft and caring, we would be allowed the same vulnerability as white women. However, in my experience, I cannot say that has been the case. How can we be expected to care for others, when we can barely take care of ourselves?

The women I grew up with, the ones who hid in the dark, are suffering now as they try to figure out what went wrong. The men, my dad in particular, is struggling to find peace with himself after so many years of keeping his truth inside.

What about me?

I have many facets to my identity, but it was not until recently that I realized my identity and mental health intersected.

My journey to self-realization as a black woman would never be complete if I did not first recognize and accept the state of my mental health.

Growing up black has its own set of expectations, rules, and pressures to follow. And if it’s unspoken, you will learn soon enough.

For many black people, the aforementioned learned rules are established by the communities we grow up in. In my family, I grew up with women that worked tirelessly and raised children. Who hurt in the dark and let their problems consume them without help. And, I grew up with men that slapped each other the back, and would never be caught with tears in his eyes.

I cannot exclude the role of church and religion in this section. While I did not attend church regularly with my family, prayer and faith was used as refuge for any and all problems. If you just prayed, God had you.

Other than this, the expected language and behavior was never verbalized in my experience but you emulate what you observe.

As a child, I remember my opinions formed quickly. I was vocal, “bossy”, and a little bit of a brat—as hard as that is to admit. To this day, my aunts love to remind me of how I would often roll my eyes and talk expressively hours on end. Besides barking orders or singing Top 40 at the top of my lungs, I was also very emotional. I cried if I couldn’t understand something or complete a task or if I was hurt or not feeling good. Though only a child, I was tapping into emotions that were rightfully mine.

My teenage years brought a whirlwind of doubt and self-consciousness. At school, I was teased about my appearance and the way I talked. This time period is as early as I can remember dealing with anxious thoughts and shying away from what I used to be—that loud and cocky 5th grader.

When we think about anxiety, we mainly think nerves that pass. It is not often taken seriously, mainly because it’s difficult to describe. From my experience, however, it is all encompassing and debilitating. It challenges you and mocks you. Berates you and makes you feel crazy. And I definitely felt crazy. Yet, I ignored it until I could. I was ashamed to feel what I felt. “I should be stronger than this”, I would think. Being strong is all I knew, but I was breaking. “I can’t do this,” is what I eventually declared.

What felt like giving up was only the beginning of what I needed.

My story is still unfolding and adding its own layers.  After my revelation that I was not “okay” I sought help where I could. I wrote journals and cried to my parents, who helped me as much as they could. I am a product of the environment in which I grew. I will still make mistakes.  I will still take medicine to find balance. I will still stumble and I am allowed to. And so are you.

There is so much to unpack with this subject and I know I have failed to cover it all, but that just means the work is far from over. I am fortunate to have the resources to help myself, but I am one of few. How can start listening to one another? How can we make resources more accessible for those who need them? It will take time and work to dismantle the problems in our community.

Until then, the first step is accepting you deserve help.

The second step is starting the process of taking care of you.

Mental health is not one-size-fits-all. One’s ethnicity, sex, race, values, religion, community all play a major role in determining how an individual responds to the challenges of mental health. As you can imagine, these differences can make mental health treatment much more challenging. To recognize these challenges and promote public awareness of mental illness in minority communities, National Minority Mental Health Awareness Month was established in 2008.

Special thanks to community member Chantal Johnson for sharing her experiences recognizing and managing her mental health while being black. Check her out @chantalks and on YouTube.

Chantal Johnson is a young writer and aspiring author hailing from Roanoke. When not watching a ridiculous amount of British reality television or thinking about Beyoncé, she writes about pop culture and its influence on society and mental health.

The Truth about PTSD

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WHAT DO LADY GAGA, DARRELL HAMMOND, AND AUDIE MURPHY HAVE IN COMMON?

Lady Gaga is an American singer-songwriter who has received numerous awards and nominations for her contributions to the music industry.

Darrell Hammond is recognized for his impersonations of Bill Clinton, Al Gore, Sean Connery, John Travolta, and many more on Saturday Night Live.

Audie L. Murphy is known as America’s most decorated combat soldier of World War II and a famous movie star.

So, what do they all have in common? They all were diagnosed with Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).

In 2016, Lady Gaga spoke publicly about her battle with PTSD—a result of being raped at 19 years old. For 7 years, Lady Gaga never spoke about her rape, not willing to admit that anything had even happened. However, in December 2016, she wrote and posted an open letter on the Born This Way Foundation website about her battle with mental illness and PTSD stating, “…I am finally well enough to tell you. There is a lot of shame attached to mental illness, but it’s important that you know that there is hope and a chance for recovery.”

WHAT IS PTSD?

According to the U.S. Department of Veterans Affairs, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is a “…mental health problem that some people develop after experiencing or witnessing a life-threatening event [or trauma]”. The term PTSD is normally associated with military veterans that have returned form war; however, this is not always the case.

Traumatic events can include combat, witnessing death or injury, physical assault, sexual assault, an accident, a natural disaster, car accident, acts of terrorism, sudden loss of a loved one, domestic violence, or child sexual abuse.

Meaning, PTSD can happen to anyone.

Here are some quick facts about PTSD in the United States:

7% to 8% of the population will experience PTSD at some point in their livesAbout 8 million adults have PTSD during a given year.About 10 of every 100 women develop PTSD sometime in their lives compared with about 4 of every 100 men.

SIGNS AND SYMPTOMS

Not everyone who experiences a traumatic event will develop PTSD. There are many factors that can increase the chance that a person will have PTSD, and those factors are normally not under that person’s control.

PTSD symptoms may start within one month of the traumatic event, but sometimes the symptoms might not appear until years later. They are generally grouped into four types (with some examples):

Reliving the Event:

Memories of the traumatic event can come back at any time. A person may feel the same fear or horror when the event took place, feel they are going through it again, or are triggered by something (sights, sounds, smells, or thoughts) that reminds them of the event.

Negative Changes in Thinking and Mood:

A person may have a hard time expressing their feelings or have swift changes in mood. Examples include, thinking the world is dangerous and no one can be trusted, feeling detached from family and friends, or blaming themselves for what happened.

Feeling on Edge:

A person may always be alert and looking for danger. This can result in a hard time sleeping, being easily scared, trouble concentrating, or self-destructive behavior.

Avoiding Situations That Remind a Person of the Event:

A person may try to avoid situations or places that remind them of the event and/or avoid seeking help because they would have to talk or think about it.

Not all people who suffer from PTSD have the same symptoms. For example, Lady Gaga’s symptoms also include somatization—meaning her psychological symptoms are so overwhelming, to the point that she is unable to express her feelings and they become physical symptoms. An example would include, throwing up when feeling anxious or having a headache due to stress.

HEALING INVISIBLE WOUNDS

One of the main treatments for PTSD is psychotherapy or talk-therapy. There are two main talk-therapy methods used for people diagnosed with PTSD, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR).

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) has been found to be the most effective treatment of PTSD, in both the short term and long term. It focuses on identifying, understanding, and changing thinking behavior patterns. There are two main components of CBT that have been found to reduce PTSD symptoms.

Cognitive Processing Therapy (CPT) helps a person learn skills to understand and change the way they think about the trauma (such as coping with feelings of anger, guilt, and fear).

Prolonged Exposure (PE) therapy helps people face and control their fears by exposing them to the trauma in a safe environment. Exposure can include mental imagery, talking, writing, or going to the places or visiting the people that remind them of the trauma. This way, the person will be less sensitive over time.

Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) was originally designed to treat PTSD. In EMDR, people will focus on sounds or hand movements while talking about the trauma. Like with CBT, EMDR helps people process trauma, allowing them to heal. If the healing process is blocked or imbalanced by the traumatic event, the emotional wound will be unable to heal and cause suffering. However by removing the block (distracting the person through hand movements and/or sounds), healing can resume.

Another type of therapy is Group Therapy. It provides a safe environment for a person to discuss their experience with others. By realizing that there are people out there that have dealt with a similar experience, that person will hopefully feel less isolated and withdrawn.

Psychotherapy, or talk-therapy, has been shown to be effective in the treatment of PTSD. However, everyone is different. Just because one type of treatment works for one person does not mean it will work for another. As such, a person needs to find a therapist that they feel comfortable with, meets their needs, and has experience with helping patients battling PTSD.

Congress named June 27 PTSD Awareness Day. The purpose of it is to encourage everyone to raise public awareness of PTSD and effective treatments. By reading this article you have already made a difference! By having a greater understanding and knowledge of PTSD, you can help others recognize symptoms and, hopefully, support them in seeking help.

If you are in crisis now, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (1-800-273-8225).

Family Service and West End Center maintain summertime service for youth

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Family Service of Roanoke Valley is proud to be a community partner with The West End Center for Youth.  A youth centered community resource proudly serving Roanoke for nearly 40 years. Established in 1979 to provide a safe haven for the youth of the west end and mountain-view communities, the West End Center offers after school programs, educational services, family support and summer programs.

West End Center offers children and teens enrichment programs to encourage positive social skills, anti-bullying, literacy enrichment and after school support. The West End Center for Youth has served over 200 plus children and teens per year.

Within our partnership, Youth Development Coordinator Deseree Stanfield  QMHP-C, facilitates day treatment and community counseling. Deseree herself had attended West End from grade school through graduation, returning to now work within the community that shaped her early years.

Watch this video featuring Des at West End Center and the impact Community Counseling and the Teen Outreach Program has on young participants.

Deseree is a dedicated social service professional who benefited from the services West End Center and Family Service offer, and is now giving back by facilitating programs and offering her support to youth in need.

As the school year comes to a close, the summer programs begin.

Activities include Positive Action, PeaceBuilders and social skills, educational components, fitness and nutrition as well as various service learning projects. Our many community partners join together to provide enrichment and continuity to the youth of our community to ensure a fun and safe summer.

We at Family Services of Roanoke Valley along with The West End Center aspire to continue the support of our youth through high school and hope to achieve a relationship that lasts beyond graduation. Deseree Stanfield is a perfect example of how services provided by West End Center and Family Service have enriched the life of a valued community leader.

Our roots go deep here at Family Service, and it shows with the dedication and commitment our staff and community partners like West End Center provide for the youth of Roanoke.

As the school year ends and the summer approaches, we will continue to provide enrichment and activities that have proven to not only raise test scores and school attendance but also provide a space to grow as future community leaders.

Tough Talks: Parents, Children, and “13 Reasons Why”

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Thirteen Reasons Why was written in 2007 by Jay Asher. By 2011, it was #1 on the New York Times best-seller list and, unbeknownst to most parents, it is currently on many high school reading lists. For those who haven’t heard, Thirteen Reasons Why, and its Netflix adaption “13 Reasons Why”, follows the story of Hannah Baker who committed suicide at the age of 17. She leaves behind a series of cassette tapes explaining the 13 reasons why she made that final decision.

Like it or not, many teens and pre-teens have already watched or are currently watching the series.

Who could blame them?

With such an unfiltered, unapologetic take on topics such as violence and bullying, substance abuse, sexual assault, and self-harm, it is easy to become invested in the story—especially if you relate to the lives and struggles of the characters. According toVariety, it is the most tweeted about series of 2017.

Due to its popularity among middle and high school students, many mental health organizations believe that it is important to have discussions about the series’ effect on children and how parents can talk to their children about it.

On Tuesday, May 23, 2017, SARA (Sexual Assault Response and Awareness), Prevention and Wellness Services at Blue Ridge Behavioral Healthcare, and Family Service of the Roanoke Valley facilitated a discussion for parents, community members, and  middle and high school aged-students regarding how to have open conversations about the Netflix series. The purpose of the panel was not to break down specific scenes of the show, but rather to use it as a jumping off point for conversations about the serious issues depicted in the show.

Before opening the floor for discussion, the panelists shared data about suicide rates in the United States, Virginia, the Roanoke Valley, and surrounding areas, shared suicide warning signs, and discussed resources available to our community.

The audience in the parent’s panel varied—ranging from clinical psychologists, teachers, school counselors, young professionals, to parents with their teens. The largest portion of the event was dedicated to listening to thoughts about the show and how parents can facilitate conversations about “13 Reasons Why”.

 Here are some tips and ideas for parents that I found extremely useful.

Not Everyone Needs to Watch It.Especially those with a predisposition to depression and/or anxiety, currently struggling or who have struggled in the past with suicidal thoughts, and those who have experienced sexual assault.

Watch the Show Together. By now, many middle and high school students have already watched the series and are anxiously waiting for the second season. However, parents should ask their children if they have ever heard of or seen the series. If they have not, parents should offer to watch the show together (if the child is interested and if the parents feel it is acceptable) and share their thoughts on the show; especially in regards to suicide and bullying.

Watch “13 Reasons Why: Beyond the Reasons”. “Beyond the Reasons” is the companion piece to”13 Reasons Why”. It is a 30-minute conversation where the cast, producers, and mental health professionals discuss scenes dealing with difficult issues. It can be watched either before or after each episode of the series.  

Be Open.Children should feel like they are able to speak to their parents about difficult topics without judgment, whenever and wherever. Having a safe, judgment-free space will allow children to express themselves honestly without fear. Additionally, parents should validate their child’s feelings. By accepting and trying to understand their feelings, parents will create the groundwork for the ability to have powerful and deeper conversations with their children in the future.

Be Present.It is important for parents to be both physically and emotionally present. It is true that parents have the toughest job in the world and there is a lot stress that comes with day-to-day life. However, if a parent isn’t in their child’s life, physically or emotionally, they are not in touch with what is truly happening. If a parent is not there, they are no longer someone that their child can come to, they are a stranger to the child as much as the child is a stranger to them.

Opinion from Peers Are Important. The opinions of peers matter as much to children, if not more, than the opinion of their parents. At this age, children yearn for the acceptance of their peers. So, while a parent might be telling their child that they are beautiful and smart, on social media the child might be seeing the opposite—and that is what the child internalizes and believes. So, it is important that parents teach their children how to be kind and supportive to others so they are a model for their social group and bullying becomes a thing of the past.

Be Aware That Social Media Plays a Bigger Part Today Than When the Book Was Written.

And, in turn, it’s harder for children today as they feel more victimized by attacks from their peers. Parents need to be aware of the applications downloaded on their children’s cell phone and/or tablets as well as their children’s social media passwords. Knowing what they are using and knowing what they have access to is huge as parents will not only learn what their children are saying, but also what people are saying about them.

It Takes a Village. The panel continuously reiterated the idea that it takes a community to raise a child. While one child might have a wonderful support system at home, for another that might not be a realistic expectation. But, while that child might not have a parent to talk to, there is probably another adult in their life that they confide in—whether it be another family member, teacher, guidance counselor, coach, church member, etc. If there isn’t one, it is important for the community band together and do what is best for the child.

Practice Self-Care.It is difficult to care for others when you are not taking care of yourself.

No Fear. All of the panelists encouraged parents to have difficult conversations with their children, and be open to their response. These are the realities of life and they need to be addressed. It is important to note that asking a child if they have thoughts of suicide does not increase the risk nor does it plant the idea. If parents are apprehensive due to a lack of knowledge, there is a plethora of resources, either online or within the community, that they can use and study.

While some may feel “13 Reasons Why” is not 100% accurate, it is opening the doors of meaningful conversation regarding important issues that teens and pre-teens face on a daily basis.

RESOURCES:

If you are in crisis, please call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255) or contact the Crisis Text Line by texting TALK to 741-741.

The health benefits of counseling for older adults

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“Ann” is 70 years old and recently came to Family Service seeking treatment for depression.

She said it all started with the death of her son 10 years ago. She became the primary caregiver for his children after his death, and ignored the signs and symptoms of her own depression. 

Three months ago, her husband passed away and Ann realized her depression had never really gone away and was now intensifying.  She was also suffering panic attacks, in which she felt anxious and afraid of dying. She was no longer engaged with friends or family and reported not wanting to get out of bed, loss of appetite, and feelings of worthlessness.

Ann said she had “lost her own identity in caregiving” and now felt that she had “lost my role… my purpose in life.”

Ann’s situation highlights the disabling affects associated with depression in the elderly population, and emphasizes the need for treatment of this highly prevalent, but treatable disorder.

Depression is the most common cause of emotional suffering in older adults. It is NOT a part of normal aging.

With counseling, Ann was able to experience a reduction in stress, depression and anxiety. She was able to formulate coping and self-care strategies, enhance communication skills resulting in healthier relationships and experience improved both physical and emotional health!!

Cathy Thompson is the Director of Older Adult Services

Youth help others where they Live, Learn and Play

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Local teens recently collected coats and food for other youth in their community. The project through Family Service’s Teen Outreach Program® (TOP®)allowed them to give back, joyfully delivering donations to the Presbyterian Community Center. They saw how positively they can impact the community.

Your support of Family Service of Roanoke Valley allows us to partner with many outstanding community programs.

Presbyterian Community Center (PCC) has been a force of support and outreach in the community since 1967 and partnered with Family Service since 1996. PCC is one of our original community partners and takes part in all of our youth development programs.  Our mission is to empower and heal and through our collaborative efforts. This allow us to better serve our community.

Within the partnership with PCC, we are fortunate to provide our outstanding prevention and intervention services.

Teens receive Life Skills Programs such as Positive Action, Teen Outreach Program® (TOP®) as well as community counseling and therapeutic day treatment.

Teens and program participants complete service learning projects that often involve PCC. Teens enthusiastically support the food pantry by running food drives throughout the year and then deliver the collections to PCC. The staff are always helpful and show participants exactly how and where their much needed donations are distributed. This experience also opens their eyes to the need within their own community and empowering them to be part of the support and relief efforts.

The most recent service project to collect items for PCC was run by the TOP® group at Stonewall Jackson Middle School, which is facilitated by Hannah Whitt and Ana Zuniga.

The highlight was the tour our teens and mentors received, showing them the workings of the pantry as well as the youth center. They definitely felt the service “glow” and upon reflection of the experience with the teens, they could not wait to do more.

Teens are also facilitating a student run media campaign aimed at addressing underage drinking, just one of many programs designed to enrich and educate our communities youth.

Partnered with The Boys and Girls Club of Roanoke Valley and Blue Ridge Behavioral Health, the group of teens aged 11 to 14, is facilitated by Sommer Casto, Youth Development Specialist and dedicated community leader.

The group meets at PCC and plans their service projects with the support and guidance from our staff.  This is a perfect example of the power of our community partner efforts in our collective endeavor to empower our youth and provide service to our community.

We are very proud to be partnered with Presbyterian Community Center for so many years and look forward to many more. Thank you for making that possible.

February is Teen Dating Violence

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What teens need to know about Dating Violence

Our amazing team in Youth Development met with students from Forest Park Academy at Family Service Roanoke Valley offices last week. The Teen Outreach Program® participants participated in a round table discussion on teen dating violence.

Facilitated by Emily DeCarlo, LCSW, Manager of Community Counseling Programs

(pictured right), the open dialogue discussed red flags for abusive relationship.

A key moment in the discussion was an anonymous poll taken on how many students knew of or had been in an abusive relationship. Other questions involved coercion, emotional and verbal abuse, sexual abuse and controlling behaviors.

The students took a pre and post quiz to gauge their awareness of what exactly constitutes abuse and their own individual ideas regarding what is and is not abuse.

The majority were aware or have experienced emotional abuse and extreme jealousy and control.

DeCarlo posed the question, is physical violence more harmful than emotional abuse? Several students engaged in healthy debate on the topic. The result was that indeed, yes, emotional abuse is as harmful if not more, as the signs are harder to see and the normalization of harmful behaviors can lead to not speaking up.

What about social media?

Social media adds an extra element, as unsolicited, inappropriate posts and texts can constitute abuse and violation. Teen Outreach Program® participants emphasized that physical violence is not the only form of abuse, that abuse can be emotional, verbal and sexual.

The students were engaged and spoke openly when questioned about their thoughts on the reality of abuse, especially in the form of social media.

Social media can be a tool of abuse. Participants emphasized the importance of recognizing patterns that might go unnoticed or merely accepted as the norm.

DeCarlo shared her experiences as a counselor to drive home that absolute boundaries are necessary to protect oneself and maintain healthy relationships.

The role of positive adult role models

She emphasized speaking up about possible abusive situations. DeCarlo specifically pointed out the many mentors in the room–including Prevention Programs Manager Sarah Jane Lawrence and Youth Development Specialists like the Forest Park lead facilitator Samara Cotton. Through the Teen Outreach Program®, participants get to know and trust these positive adult role models.

Adults mentors can provide a safe, confidential space to open up

. Cotton, a long time Family Service employee and mentor, holds a special place for the teens and is a shining example of the work and advocacy that is at the core of our mission. This speaks volumes about the power of positive adult role models and the respect they have among students. They create a safe space and positive environment to discuss a very important and serious public health problem–teen dating violence and intimate partner violence.

Throughout February, our staff in Youth Development will provide activities and opportunities  to spread awareness of teen dating violence and encourage dialogue with all students involved in the Teen Outreach Program®. This further creates a place of trust and advocacy to help spread the awareness to break the pattern of abuse that may interrupt healthy growth and relationships.

Tuesday, February 14 is Wear Orange for Love Day