February is Teen Dating Violence

What teens need to know about Dating Violence

Our amazing team in Youth Development met with students from Forest Park Academy at Family Service Roanoke Valley offices last week. The Teen Outreach Program® participants participated in a round table discussion on teen dating violence.

Facilitated by Emily DeCarlo, LCSW, Manager of Community Counseling Programs

(pictured right), the open dialogue discussed red flags for abusive relationship.

A key moment in the discussion was an anonymous poll taken on how many students knew of or had been in an abusive relationship. Other questions involved coercion, emotional and verbal abuse, sexual abuse and controlling behaviors.

The students took a pre and post quiz to gauge their awareness of what exactly constitutes abuse and their own individual ideas regarding what is and is not abuse.

The majority were aware or have experienced emotional abuse and extreme jealousy and control.

DeCarlo posed the question, is physical violence more harmful than emotional abuse? Several students engaged in healthy debate on the topic. The result was that indeed, yes, emotional abuse is as harmful if not more, as the signs are harder to see and the normalization of harmful behaviors can lead to not speaking up.

What about social media?

Social media adds an extra element, as unsolicited, inappropriate posts and texts can constitute abuse and violation. Teen Outreach Program® participants emphasized that physical violence is not the only form of abuse, that abuse can be emotional, verbal and sexual.

The students were engaged and spoke openly when questioned about their thoughts on the reality of abuse, especially in the form of social media.

Social media can be a tool of abuse. Participants emphasized the importance of recognizing patterns that might go unnoticed or merely accepted as the norm.

DeCarlo shared her experiences as a counselor to drive home that absolute boundaries are necessary to protect oneself and maintain healthy relationships.

The role of positive adult role models

She emphasized speaking up about possible abusive situations. DeCarlo specifically pointed out the many mentors in the room–including Prevention Programs Manager Sarah Jane Lawrence and Youth Development Specialists like the Forest Park lead facilitator Samara Cotton. Through the Teen Outreach Program®, participants get to know and trust these positive adult role models.

Adults mentors can provide a safe, confidential space to open up

. Cotton, a long time Family Service employee and mentor, holds a special place for the teens and is a shining example of the work and advocacy that is at the core of our mission. This speaks volumes about the power of positive adult role models and the respect they have among students. They create a safe space and positive environment to discuss a very important and serious public health problem–teen dating violence and intimate partner violence.

Throughout February, our staff in Youth Development will provide activities and opportunities  to spread awareness of teen dating violence and encourage dialogue with all students involved in the Teen Outreach Program®. This further creates a place of trust and advocacy to help spread the awareness to break the pattern of abuse that may interrupt healthy growth and relationships.

Tuesday, February 14 is Wear Orange for Love Day

Help others find happy, healthy lives!

Feness, in 5th grade at the time, faced a stressful and slightly lonely life. She didn’t feel good about herself and was unsure what kind of person she would become. When Feness found Family Service of Roanoke Valley’s Teen Outreach Program® (TOP) at the West End Center for Youth, she found people who cared.

Read more of Feness’ story here

.TOP® is just one way Family Service brings mental health care and support into the community, where people

live, learn and play

. People can start working toward their happiest, healthiest lives through therapy, treatment and support at over 30 different partner sites including schools, after school centers, adult care facilities, partner service providers, neighborhoods, community centers and more!

That’s why our friend Raggedy Andy is visiting our partners in the coming weeks–to highlight how our neighbors are able to get the help they need when and where they need it.

You can help make this possible by supporting Family Service on Roanoke Valley Gives March 15. We have a goal to raise $5,000. Click here to donate during the Power Hour of Noon-1 p.m., or anytime March 15!

Like our neighbors, who find help in arm’s reach when they need it, Raggedy Andy is out and about in the community. You never have to look far to find a smiling face and helping hand.

You never know where Raggedy Andy will show up next. You can be sure, wherever you see him is another place lives are being changed.

All thanks to the generous support of people like you. People who understand the importance of giving all families a place to turn in crisis, and all children hope for a happier, healthier future!

Governor McAuliffe puts more emphasis on mental health

In his State of the Commonwealth address on Wednesday January 11, Virginia Governor Terry McAuliffe expanded on the increased spending on mental health he first proposed in his budget last year. 

When he proposed his amendments to the 2016-2018 budget in December, Governor McAuliffe included a $31.7 million dollar expansion on state spending on mental health and substance abuse, according to a press release from the Governor’s office. This includes a total of $17.7 million to provide better service within the state’s existing mental health system.

McAuliffe stated that he wants to use these funds to address overcrowding in state mental hospitals, as well as to provide same day service at community boards and conduct mental health screenings at jails. 

These efforts are a step in the right direction, according to Ruth Cassell, who is the Chief Development Officer here at Family Service of Roanoke Valley

. In an interview with WFXR/Virginia First, she said identifying individuals within the criminal justice system who need mental health support is especially important. Without additional resources, the criminal justice system is not adequately equipped to process these individuals. Mental health screenings of individuals within the criminal justice system could identify individuals who need additional help and reduce instances of repeated offenders.

While this is definitely a necessary step, Cassell expressed a desire for more funding to be put toward preventative services that help individuals before they reach a crisis and end up in the criminal justice system. By spending money on preventative measures, she said in the interview with WFXR, the state could save taxpayer money by identifying individuals who need mental health services and not letting them end up in the criminal justice system in the first place. 

The governor also proposed $5.3 million to help combat opioid addiction, which the state officially declared a public health crisis last November. Once the statistics are finalized, there are expected to be over 1,000 deaths from opioid overdoses in 2016. 

Finally, there was an additional $4.5 million allocated to assess mental health services across the state. McAuliffe received pushback on this item, with critics pointing out that there is already a Joint Subcommittee in place to study these same issues. McAuliffe defended his budget when pressed, stating that the government itself needs to conduct the evaluations.

Find the full text of Governor McAuliffe’s address here and the original interview with Ruth Cassell here.

Our Annual Report is Out!

In 2016,

Family Service of Roanoke Valley reached its

115 year anniversary

of providing service to our community.

Our annual report details our achievements this year. These achievements are only made possibly by generous donations from our community members, so thank you to everyone who donated their time or money this past year.

In 2015-16, Family Service kicked off Mental Health Awareness month with the second annual Celebrity Tip Off, which raised $47,000. Special thanks to our Menu Sponsors, MemberOne Federal Credit Union and Davenport & Company, and all the sponsors, attendees and tippers who made it another successful year!

This past year, Family Service wanted to expand on it’s acclaimed Play Therapy program, by establishing the Play Therapy Institute. Thanks to help from the Virginia Department of Social Services, we were able to make this happen and expand our capacity to help traumatized children.

Family Service is also excited to announce over $280,000 in funds made available through a federal grant to provide interpreter services to victims of crime in the Roanoke Valley. In a partnership with TAP Domestic Violence Services, the Salvation Army Turning Point, and SARA, Inc., Family Service will work to provide these services so that everyone who has been a victim of crime will receive the services they deserve.

To read more about our 2015-16 year, read the full report here.

Our Holiday Potluck!

Each year, Family Service of Roanoke Valley celebrates the holidays with a festive gathering. We recognize staff members for years of service and have a special recognition for those who go above and beyond the call of duty. We share in food and fellowship and have a good time together! We give gratitude to one another and take time to recognize how important our work in the community is for those we serve.

See the crew we are fortunate enough to call a family and all the highlights of our holiday potluck on our Facebook page!

Happy Holidays!

Giving Tuesday

Family Service of Roanoke Valley would like to thank everyone who donated on Giving Tuesday!

This year’s donations allowed eight community members to receive mental healthcare on our sliding scale fee. Your donations helped heal the wounds we cannot see.

#GivingTuesday #HandstoHold

Counseling, crisis and support services available regardless of language barriers

Family Service of Roanoke Valley and community partners recognize the specific challenges faced by refugees and other Limited English Proficiency persons in our community. To better serve this growing population in the Roanoke Valley, they today announced a collaborative project to address the need for qualified, appropriate and culturally sensitive interpreter services for victims of crime—Health and Wellness Interpreters of the Roanoke Valley.

“We are making a commitment to not let any victim of crime feel isolated or hopeless because they are not able to access services in their primary language,” Family Service President and CEO Sharon Thacker said.

The program will serve any victim of crime—physical assault or bullying, financial fraud, child abuse, domestic violence, sexual assault, robbery, or any other type of crime—for whom language is a limitation.

Four primary partners include Family Service of Roanoke Valley,Salvation Army’s Turning Point, TAP Domestic Violence Services and Sexual Assault Response and Awareness (SARA, Inc)

. Health and Wellness Interpreters of the Roanoke Valley will focus on giving people with limited English proficiency access to counseling, support services, advocacy, crisis intervention and more.

Refugees, immigrants and other Limited English Proficiency/deaf persons need affordable and accessible interpreter services, specifically in-person interpreter services by qualified and certified interpreters trained in mental health. Layering interpreter services into existing direct services allows victims of crime to get the help they need without having to deal with the added challenge of not being able to speak the language.

Funding for the program is made available through the Department of Criminal Justice Services Victims of Crime Act. The Roanoke Valley will receive over $280,000 in the next 12 months, with additional funding available in coming years.

City of Roanoke Vice Mayor Anita Price joined Thacker and others to make an announcement about the new program on Tuesday, November 22 during National Family Week.

See the media coverage of the announcement on:

WFIR

The Roanoke Times

WDBJ7

WSLS10

“The City of Roanoke is proud to partner with our local non-profits to give people who live and work in this beautiful Valley the tools they need to succeed,” Price said. “Roanoke is a refugee resettlement community with a diverse population, and there are growing numbers of people whose primary language is not English. These neighbors will be better able to live, work and play in our Valley if they can deal with the trauma and hopelessness associated with extremely difficult life circumstances.”

As a refugee resettlement community, the Roanoke Valley is a melting pot of various cultures and nationalities, representing over 100 spoken languages. This diversity is an incredible asset to our community, and understandably, also represents challenges for health and human services providers responding to the needs of clients with Limited English Proficiency (LEP). Over 3,800 people were identified as not being proficient in English in the 2016 County Health Rankings.  The current system relies on expensive language lines, and live interpreters provided by insurance companies which can’t be accessed in a timely fashion, and don’t adequately meet the needs of clients. These resources become virtually non-existent for those that are uninsured or lack behavioral healthcare coverage.

Health and Wellness Interpreters of the Roanoke Valley will make these services available to LEP/deaf victims of crime at no cost, and in the most appropriate and culturally sensitive manner possible.

The City of Roanoke is partnering to identify and refer victims of crime with language limitations to the new centralized resource. Many organizations have also lined up to help bring no-cost interpreter services to people who need it—the Mental Health Refugee Council, United Way of Roanoke Valley, Roanoke City Public Schools, Roanoke City Department of Social Services, Blue Ridge Literacy, Commonwealth’s Attorney Victim/Witness, Carilion Roanoke Memorial Hospital Emergency Department and Mental Health America.

Funds are included for each primary partner agency to provide interpreter services at no cost to the crime victim. There are also funds to give victims of crime access to interpreter services so they may get connected with other needed services not provided by the four primary partners.

Health and Wellness Interpreters of the Roanoke Valley will also conduct community outreach events and trauma-informed trainings. The purpose of these events will be to educate service providers, refugee and immigrant communities, limited English proficiency or deaf persons, and the greater community on how to identify and access services.

For more information, please call 540-563-5316 x3014

Holidays Can Be Hard!

Holidays can be hard! Our expectations are based on movies and media where we see perfect families having the most wonderful meals, wearing the most wonderful clothes, playing football on the lawn and we think this year… this year that’s my family!

I was interviewed on WFXR this week to talk about this very topic! Check it out here.

Basically…if Aunt Mabel is still asking whether you are engaged or not, or Grandpa believes the last good President was Herbert Hoover…it’s time to prepare yourself!!

In some 12 step programs, they use the acronym: HALT, which stands for Hungry, Angry, Lonely, Tired.  If you are any of these, Aunt Mabel might just be too much to bear. So, take time to stop, breathe, and take care of yourself — and you will be better able to handle your relatives and manage yourself!

Other suggestions:

1) You probably know your relatives and which ones will be the most challenging for you to handle. We can’t change them but we can change what we expect. We can adjust and adapt and remember that when the holiday is over, our real life is waiting and whatever happens around the Thanksgiving table won’t change that.

S

peaking of adjusting, we can adjust our physical position, keep moving… if Auntie is irritating, note that you haven’t seen Cousin Tom in a long time and you really must catch up with him and get moving away from your irritating Auntie. When Cousin starts in on politics, move on to someone else…

Don’t personalize it: your family probably cares about you but that doesn’t mean they get you. Whatever is most offensive to you is probably coming from their own issues or they are just being careless with their words and not noticing how offended you are.

Be realistic if you know this is going to be a chore, prepare yourself. Think of it as business, not pleasure. (If you are wrong-YAY) but if you are right you won’t be let down!

Plan a Friendsgiving or personal reward like a hike in order to get your own needs met!

Let it be… you can do lots of things but until you walked a mile in their shoes, you just don’t know why people act the way they do. So let it be, laugh it off, change the subject…

Be generous of spirit and plan to spread cheer (even if they don’t act they deserve it!) and maybe my friend was right, and you can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar! Just don’t expect to have this cheer returned!

Set the stage: Say, “I know we are all tired of the election and what is going on in the media so I propose we choose to talk about something else. I want to put a collection together of everyone’s favorite holiday memories, so when we talk that’s what I’ll be asking.” Or say, “I know we all want to share our opinions of the latest election. I am going to put on the timer for 15 minutes… when it buzzes, we can move to the table (or to the next stage of the holiday) but let’s promise we won’t talk about politics. Instead, maybe we can share what we hope to be thankful for next year.”

Focus on what you share-football teams, reading, movies, music, etc…

Get active: go hiking, play touch football, take a bike ride…

Mind your manners as my grandmother would say…be polite, be kind, be quiet!!!

Practice self-care: whatever this means to you. My introverted daughter takes time outs and disappears to her room every couple of hours. Take a book, practice yoga, journal, take a bath, run, bike, walk, go to the mall.

Don’t overeat or drink too much.

If all else fails… have a get-away plan. Transportation and an excuse for taking a moment (or more) to yourself.

Holiday suggestions with kids:

If you are traveling-buy something new to do in the car or on the plane… new book, new game, new movie etc…

Try to keep as close to your normal routine as possible

Advocate for your kids… this is not the time to force them to eat all of their brussel sprouts if they normally live on chicken nuggets… (or is that just my kid?) Speak up to other family members about your rules and expectations if they are different from your other family members.

Plan activities but don’t overdo; plan downtime; provide outdoor time and physical activity; do something with just your own nuclear family (hike, movie, mall, etc.)

Give your children an assignment: ask them to find out everyone’s first Thanksgiving memory or favorite Thanksgiving food; let them make the placemats, name cards, napkin rings, center piece or help make the pies… so they feel a part of this whole festivity!

Remember kids are kids… they will melt down at inconvenient times. They will punch their sister in from of everyone. Deal with it all as privately as possible! Don’t give in to embarrassment because everyone’s kids have done it even if your sister in law pretends hers didn’t. Don’t shame your kids but also don’t let them off the hook. Think about what happened and remember that sometimes kids need consequences but sometimes they need to sleep or eat or play or to be hugged!!!

Play Therapy Institute: Learning by Healing

Getting to know Alex Matthews

Alex Matthews, a Play Therapy graduate intern at Family Service of Roanoke Valley, earned a Bachelor of Science in Psychology from Virginia Tech. She is now participating in the Play Therapy Institute at Family Service to complete the Masters of Counseling program at Virginia Tech. She joined Family Service in August 2016, and her supervisor is Jennifer Nolley.

Matthews has experience working as a research assistant for child study center for a professor known worldwide for his research in oppositional defiance disorder and phobias. She also worked as a preschool teacher and feels like there were kids who fell through the cracks.

"I have always been interested in psychology-related field. I was drawn to counseling because as a counselor we look at the whole person rather than seeing them as a diagnosis," she said.

The Counseling intern said she got to choose between a school placement or a community-based placement for her internship. She chose a community-based placement because she wanted the one-on-one therapeutic time with children and she really felt like she could make a difference.

She said she is pursuing social work because she thinks there is a great deal of impact she can have on families in need.

"The whole experience I am gaining at Family Service is very new, because it’s younger kids than I’ve worked with. I like the idea of Play Therapy. It’s very non-directive, and I like that aspect of it–just letting them be who they are in that space," she said.

The children who seek Play Therapy services at Family Service have often suffered the most extreme life circumstances–poverty, abuse, neglect, and violence in their home.

Matthews said she became interested in Play Therapy in Theories and Techniques class.

"I know kids can’t always verbally express themselves," she said.

Seeing how her supervisor Nolley and other therapists at Family Service work with the kids lets Matthews feels like Family Service is the right place for her to learn more in her field and make a difference for kids in our community.

A Closer Look at Play Therapy Institute 

Play Therapy Counseling at Family Service is a robust program. Seven full-time and part-time counselors focus specifically on treating the youngest children in our community. With three rooms dedicated to Play Therapy, and a reputation for excellence, Family Service wanted to establish the Play Therapy Institute. The institute allows the agency to increase the counseling services available for traumatized children in our community, and address the waiting list for Play Therapy–which is consistently over 20 for children ages 2-12.

With the support of the Virginia Department of Social Services through the Victims of Crime Act funding, Family Service was able to see this dream come true. Matthews joins Family Service along with two other Masters level interns–Malvona Ross-Sohland Ashley Carr–to enhance the services available and reduce the number of children on the waiting list for Play Therapy,

Specifically for children who have suffered abuse or neglect,

Family Service is able to offer counseling free of charge. 

Click  for more information.

Play Therapy Institute: Learning by Healing

Getting to know Malvona Ross-Sohl

Malvona Ross-Sohl, a Play Therapy graduate intern at Family Service of Roanoke Valley, earned a Bachelor of Social Work from Radford University. She is now participating in the Play Therapy Institute at Family Service to complete the Masters in Social Work program at Virginia Commonwealth University. She joined Family Service in August 2016, and her supervisor is The Rev. Melissa Hays-Smith, LCSW, RPT-S.

Ross-Sohl grew up in a home where she witnessed domestic violence and tragically lost her mother at a young age. Now a wife and mother herself, Ross-Sohl has made a career of helping others and learning more about the cycle of domestic violence and how it impacts communities and families.

The Counseling intern has worked at TAP’s Sabrina’s Place and as a case manager at Blue Ridge Behavioral Health. She is currently working as Lead Case Manager for the TAP YALE (Young Adult Life Enhancement) program for youth 14-19 years old in addition to going to school.

She said she is pursuing social work because she thinks there is a great deal of impact she can have on families in need.

"The whole experience I am gaining at Family Service is very new, because it’s younger kids than I’ve worked with. I like the idea of Play Therapy. It’s very non-directive, and I like that aspect of it–just letting them be who they are in that space," she said.

The children who seek Play Therapy services at Family Service have often suffered the most extreme life circumstances–poverty, abuse, neglect, and violence in their home. Seeing how her supervisor Hays-Smith and other therapists at Family Service work with the kids lets Ross-Sohl know she’s made the right choice.

She said the ongoing therapeutic relationship developed through counseling provides an opportunity to intervene in a child’s life early and hopefully stop the cycle of abuse.

Ross-Sohl is grateful she was able to do that for herself and is hopeful her career in social work will allow her to help other kids escape from a lifetime of abuse and emotional wounds.

"I want to get a very diverse experience and I think I’m doing that," she said. "I also want to make the most impact that I can. I don’t want to just be comfortable. I want to make an impact on the people I work with."

A Closer Look at Play Therapy Institute 

Play Therapy Counseling at Family Service is a robust program. Seven full-time and part-time counselors focus specifically on treating the youngest children in our community. With three rooms dedicated to Play Therapy, and a reputation for excellence, Family Service wanted to establish the Play Therapy Institute. The institute allows the agency to increase the counseling services available for traumatized children in our community, and address the waiting list for Play Therapy–which is consistently over 20 for children ages 2-12.

With the support of the Virginia Department of Social Services through the Victims of Crime Act funding, Family Service was able to see this dream come true. Ross-Sohl joins Family Service along with two other Masters level interns–Alex Matthews and Ashley Carr–to enhance the services available and reduce the number of children on the waiting list for Play Therapy,

Specifically for children who have suffered abuse or neglect,

Family Service is able to offer counseling free of charge. 

Click  for more information.